Another Top Fifteen Things I've Learned in Morocco...

1) European men STILL wear Capri pants.

2) A short toot of the horn from behind means "Hey there...moped behind you. Just wanted to let you know" and is very helpful for avoiding pedestrian-vs-moped collisions. A long toot of the horn means the same as it does in the States.

3) To Moroccans, eye contact from white people means one of three things: "I would like to buy everything in your shop", "I am desperately lost and will give you money to take me to the main square", or "I'd like to give you money for no reason at all". Liberal use of sunglasses, even in covered markets, is the only antidote.

4) After a couple of days in the same city, you start seeing the same tourists over and over again. Either that, or all French people look alike.

5) Restaurant pimps will let little girls walk up to your table to try and sell you tissues. However, if hungry little girls ask for your leftovers, they will be really mean to them and shoo them away.

6) No one should ever go hungry in Morocco. There are enough orange trees on the street to feed millions.

7) Boiled snails are possibly the most revolting smell I've ever encountered. They are, of course, a delicacy...aka "acquired taste"...aka gross.

8) Whatever good or service you want to purchase here, it's more than likely they have a place in the souk for it. This includes, but is not limited to, nuts that look like giant boogers, and lamination of documents - or as it is so elegantly said in French - "plastification".

9) The billboards of the Moroccan king are actually a series! There's "happy" king, "sad" king, "I was in the middle of eating a fig when he took this picture" king, "I'm trying to focus on a distant object" king, and "I'm wasted out of my mind but trying not to make it too obvious because drinking is frowned upon here" king.

10) McDonald's has a halal version of the McRib sandwich called the McArabic. It comes around 24 times a year, but always for a limited time only. If you order a combo meal you can pick from either fries or "special potatoes", which are just wedge fries, and a regular drink is about 6 oz.

11) Snake charmers get really, really mad at you if you take a picture without giving them money. Oddly enough they will offer to cover you in snakes if you give them money. I'd bet they'd do a much better business if they threatened to cover you in snakes UNLESS you gave them money. Just a thought, snake charmers...just a thought.

12) There are many, many signs for dentists in Moroccan streets. They are either very underused or very ineffective.

13) Dare-based traffic motions are a common form of entertainment in Morocco. White people ALWAYS lose.

14) Groups of Moroccan women walking down the street in front of you are like a football team's defensive line, if they had their backs turned to you but could sense your every move. If you're going to try and get past them, be prepared for a scuffle and possibly a concussion.

And finally...

15) There is no Arabic equivalent of the word "tacky", as in "I think that carpet with the fifteen colors and twelve alternating patterns is tacky".

That'll do it for Morocco. Next up, things I learned in Portugal!